Friday, June 30, 2006
Well, the week went by smoothly.
Okay... Well not so smooth.
Getting more stress.
And we thought reopening of school would better things.
WRONG!
Haha.
My dad got his bonus pay today.
Gave me $300.
Well, remember about the bass guitar thingy?
I actually had saved up to $200 dollars.
$50 actually gonna be from the bank.
So, it's $150.
When i went to make my I/C, my dad brought my $50 for emergency.
Well, i agreed heavily ofcourse.
So, went to check my safe.
And there, where it was suppose to be $100....
Was only $20.
I was fumed up i'd tell ya.
I spent the whole holidays trying to save $10 each time.
Had to starve myself outside.
And then $80 just went off just like that.
Haiz...
Can't really say who used it lah...
But, you know... I was really upset.
I mean, who wouldn't.
But, at least got it back.
So, gonna buy the bass...
TOMORROW!!
If can lah.
Haha.
Finally could broaden my mind with a new music style.
Had band practice today.
A lot thinks Mr Ng is a bad-ass conductor.
But to me, hearing that is good.
To get someone to follow you, you also jeopardise yourself into getting hated.
So, he needs to get hated to help us improve.
He's pushing us.
Not down a cliff, but up a hill.
I don't think the rest are greatful, but i am.
And today's practice, i hear the progress of his help.
We improved slightly better.
He got us disciplined.
Well, at least that's what i think.
The brass are slightly better.
Maybe it's not in anyone's mind, but i'm looking forward to the sucess with his help.
Everyone has their good and bad.
But it's hard to have a bad that's good.
Well, right now, i'm just thinking....
Why, is it that i'm not a good little boy to people anymore?
Neighbours to be precise.
I try to make eye contact with them, and when i do, i smile.
But, the person just pretends it didn't happen and just glances off.
Wouldn't you be pissed?
Well, i am.
But that's not the point here.
I'm just curious, what makes adults get afraid to interact with teenagers?
I mean, adults that aren't teachers.
Teachers are different.
Actually, they WOULD have been similar, but experience through the years made them feel that, "Hey. Guess they aren't monsters afterall."
I mean, yes, there are a bunch of the bad ones.
But doesn't mean all of them.
So, why can't they just look at us teens normally?
Instead of like, pretending not to see us, or stare at us, indicating they have a grudge.
It really puts a question mark on my head.
We, i mean some of us, just tries to be friendly, and there they go feeling, "Oh my god! He's looking at me! With a smile!! Gotta look away!", or, "Oh no. Another teen. Better give my soul-piercing stare."
Anyways, i guess it might be my last attemp trying to help.
I mean, i just can't find the ability to help people when they need help.
Friends ARE suppose to help one another, right?
So, what's happening here?
Sometimes, i think that i'm a 15-year-old.
Who has either an overly-matured mind, or the correct understanding would be overactive mind.
I mean, take my older blog for example.
I crap and yap and smack about all kinds of things that lingers in my mind.
Like this one actually.
I think a lot.
But i fail to have the ability of one simple basic thing.
Ability to help.
At least i think so again.
A friend asking for help.
And a standard reaction would be, "what's wrong?".
Right?
But if it were me, I'd be going,
Oh my God. What should i do? Oh no oh no oh no...
And then I avoided it.
But only come a long minute after thinking what's right.
I mean, isn't is suppose to be a built-in feature?
So, i try to help.
And i yap all the things i think would help the person.
And the bad thing is, i used all the ideas i get from my mind.
Which they eventually don't even help the problem one bit.
And that is where i figure that i shouldn't try to help unless i am good at it.
So, it's hard being a good friend, it seems.
And i should seriously stop writing this much thoughts.
It's annoying even to myself that i think too much.
(7:50 AM)
